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Did you ever get an answer? I'll answer you but I don't think it will help. Someone is listening.

Hi i_miss_you

Why dont we just put our poems here in this forum and talk to each other about tthem? I'll start…

Being a Man

You tell me to fight for what’s right

Is that with fists or wit?

You kindle the fire of anger inside me

But, Dad, who are we angry with?

You show me that I deserve love-

It is my destiny to be loved-

But don’t show me how to give it and,

Heartbroken, I wonder how to keep it

You show me that men are tall,

Strong, muscular, fine looking

Yet what the mirror reflects back at me

Is few of these things. Am I still a man?

You show me it’s my lot to rule

With iron fist at home

And with strength to lead the world

So why do I feel so powerless?

You warn me not to be weak

For to show weakness is womanly

So I don my mask of strength

And feign unfeeling masculinity

Tell me your responses please!

'I would have doubled the amount I had already paid' Love this line. Clever and interesting and for your sake I hope not autobiographical

I liked both poems the first one reminded me a lot of a friend of mine. He dealt with a lot.  I haven't seen him in almost 15 years.  I grew up in the streets so a father figure was never really there. So, to the second poem I can see and relate to your poem. Though I never did cocaine too many people around me disappeared due to it. That being said that's why I was feeling down lately and decided to make my poem:

Come and Gone

how to deal with the past?

so many memories have come and gone.

childhood, my first grade.

my middle school class, man it was fun.

the faces you saw every day,

so happily I awoke every morning.

to think at age nine, ten, eleven…

a few years down the line they would all be gone.

memories is what they remain.

this feeling of… emptiness.

i can’t backtrack, it hurts.

timelines have been set and can’t be erased.

if anything i want this pain gone.

it follows me like a shadow.

all i could do is numb it,

but for how long?

it comes right back.

yet, i cant bring back those faces,

those companionships, those who were like family.

no… you can’t. they have come and gone.

lost so many friendships and for what?

an argument? time? death?

to be able to hold such power.

people say you could never be god.

he has the power. yea, they’re right.

only pain remains, why cant he take it away?

these memories that have come and gone.

footsteps have been imprinted.

how do you take away something so precious?

i am left with nothing. just this pain.

this pain for those memories that have come and gone.

Ang said:

'I would have doubled the amount I had already paid' Love this line. Clever and interesting and for your sake I hope not autobiographical

“Then one day he laughed at me and told me I was hooked, he said I would have seen it if I'd only stopped and looked.”  I  can relate to your poem, I know all to well how easy it is to become consumed by addiction.  i really enjoyed your poem a lot!!